Vodka Roses

So you’ve spent your whole year working on your roses. You’ve pulled at least one hammy trying to see which cane you should prune and trying to figure out exactly which direction “the outward growth is in a regular and even fashion” would be.  And now spring is here and there they are:  those beautiful, fragrant blooms that you actually take pictures of and send to your friends.

When cutting roses from your garden for an arrangement, there are a few simple things to remember. First, I will show you when NOT to cut them:

Yes this rose is nice.  But way past its prime to last much longer than a day.  And as you will CLEARLY be announcing to everyone within earshot that these were NOT purchased but actually grown by your own two hands, don’t cut a rose that looks like this.  It will droop and drop all over your table. No bueno.

Instead, think ahead and cut for your arrangement something like this:

This rose will open up in a few hours to the perfect bloom and people will talk for weeks about how amazing you are with your roses. And we know that’s what it’s all about in the end.

And the secret to making them open up and practically sing with joy? Vodka. Right there in the water.  How much, you ask? Well I like to follow the a-little-for-me, a-little-for-you rule. Just a splash will do. Pour it in your fresh water and watch the magic happen. (I do need to mention that this only works for ROSES — no other flower will respond as appropriately as the rose will. They will respond inappropriately as most drunks do.)

So raise your glass and pour it in the vase —

(this post was brought to you by my sister and guest blogger, Heatheroo. The girl just knows about flowers; it’s a gift)


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